To share or not to share

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how becoming a parent has changed me.

It’s only been nine-and-a-half weeks, but I already see changes in myself that weren’t there 10 weeks ago. Some of those changes are in real life, but there have also been some online changes as well.

It’s a weird thing being a parent online nowadays. You don’t want to overwhelm your friends or followers on your social media accounts with tonnes of photos of your baby. On the other hand, you think he’s so freaking cute, so shouldn’t the world?

Of course, there are many things to consider before flooding peoples’ timelines with photos and status updates about your child. The first thing we thought about when it came to our baby was that his image is not our image. We decided this back when we were pregnant, which is one of the reasons we’ve never shared the sonogram on social media. But as the birth approached, we knew we had to find a way to share updates about him, since Keith’s family lives in Ireland. We wanted to be able to keep them up to date on the little guy.

So we broke our “no Facebook” rule. and started a little blog filled with nuggets from parenting our kid. We try to keep our social updates small (honestly, we do try). We decided we wouldn’t share everything. There are still lots of photos we’ve taken of our little guy that are just for us (and to embarrass him with at his wedding, of course).

But there’s also something a little more emotional to think about.

As someone who has suffered pregnancy loss, I know how hard it can be after miscarrying to see pho2016-01-30 13.50.23tos of babies everywhere you turn. It just opens up those wounds all over again, which make it hard to heal them. I recognize how hard it can be for someone who is going through that to see the happy baby photos I’m sharing and not feel bad.

I also recognize there are likely many times that I share something (an opinion, an article, a photo), that one of my friends or acquaintances online don’t agree with or that hits an emotional chord with them that I couldn’t have intended. I can’t shelter everyone from my opinion or my point of view. While I’m sensitive to what women who have had a pregnancy loss are going to, if I catered my accounts to them, what else would I have to white wash in order not to offend people?

I may write more about becoming a parent in this space, because I have many thoughts on that. But I promise I will not share too many photos of my son. However, I thought this post deserved one.